I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

booksfrommyshelf:

I am haunted by all the editions of books that are prettier than the ones I already own.

(via llannisters)

Hense - 700 Delaware (2012) - Mural on abandoned church

(via laydeeisa)

10 Steps to Self Care

onlinecounsellingcollege:

1. If it feels wrong, don’t do it.
2. Say “exactly” what you mean.
3. Don’t be a people pleaser.
4. Trust your instincts.
5. Never speak badly about yourself.
6. Never give up on your dreams.
7. Don’t be afraid to say “no”.
8. Don’t be afraid to say “yes”.
9. Resist the need to always have control.
10. Stay away from drama and negativity – as much as possible.
Source: Lessons Learned in Life

Aug. 29 12:27 pm

justice4mikebrown:

#Ferguson  

toocooltobehipster:

To donate £5 to the charity supporting the male victims of domestic abuse, text the message: MKDV46 to 70070
Click here to watch the video

majiinboo:

  • Do not forget Michael Brown
  • Do not forget how the media dehumanized him and tried to justify his murder
  • Do not forget how peaceful protests were painted as savage riots
  • Do not forget police armed with military grade weapons terrorized and arrested black civilians
  • Do not forget Darren Wilson being awarded over $200,000 in fundraiser donations for murdering an unarmed black child
  • Do not forget that this system was not built to defend us, but to control us
  • Do not forget Ferguson 
#Ferguson  

fashionsambapita:

Read each story here:http://vogue.cm/XSNWEq

dr-archeville:

Jon Stewart, The Daily Show, 2014-08-26, “Race/Off” [alternate link here]

skeletonswordfights:

That’s wack.

geekgirlsmash:

Any time someone asks me if “I’m too old for that”, I just direct them to Advanced Style.

(via wedrankeachotherunderthecovers)

guiltyhipster:

Friendly reminder that you’re allowed to like a thing without knowing every single fact about the thing

You’re allowed to like a movie without having to know every crew member’s name

You’re allowed to like a book without having to memorize every page

You’re allowed to like a video game without having to know all the Easter eggs and cheat codes

You’re allowed to like things and not be an expert on things

Liking things isn’t supposed to be stressful

(via raychillster)